RECESS

RECESS

Fiction by Phil Mershon

Regina Lucas, “The Damned Truth,” TRN Broadcast, 9/12/01.

McDowell-Eastman had an excellent reputation. Shunning trendy elitism, the preparatory academy was open to future college students and careerists from any socio-economic group. Tuition costs were not prohibitive, thanks to endowments poured in by the Eastmans, and all that was required in financial expenses was five percent of the student’s family’s adjusted gross annual income. Of that five percent, half was held in a trust account eventually released to the student upon graduation as a way of defraying the costs of his or her presumed college education. This may have been one reason why the media came to call the school “progressive.” The term did not reflect any particular political agenda. In fact, according to most people TRN has questioned, the institution’s world view could be summed up best in its own concise (and now somewhat ominous) mission statement: “We prepare the spirits, minds, and bodies of our charges for excellence.”

Janet Resin, Public Relations Officer, McDowell-Eastman Preparatory Academy, 9/12/01.

It is an understatement that more young people wanted to attend McDowell-Eastman than the school could reasonably serve. We receive tens of thousands of solicitations every year for enrollment. As happy as it would make us to honor each and every request, in the best interests of our students, we have reluctantly instituted a policy of limited enrollment. For your information, the freshman class is limited to 250, the sophomore class is capped at 225, the junior ceiling is 200, and our senior year graduation is a solid and consistent 150, yielding a total student capacity of a comfortable 825. Naturally, these figures mandate some level of attrition, which I will be happy to discuss with you, Cynthia. But if we may, let us first discuss the admissions process.

Daphne Carter, 17, McDowell-Eastman student, 9/12/01.

My father was really put off by it in the beginning. He was just completely opposed, I guess probably because the school needed all this paperwork. They were just mad for documentation, you know? So my father said--what did he call it?--intrusive to ask for medical records, IQ scores, credit reports, whatever, for their files. I just wanted to get admitted.

Donald Noth, Superintendent of Schools, 9/13/01.

McDowell-Eastman desired a mix, and we believed that by selecting people whose families scored high, medium, and low in the non-respective areas of health, intelligence, and responsibility, the result would be more diversity-balanced than by other types of indicators. So our Admissions Panel--who represent a diverse scope of backgrounds themselves--they and they alone admit a proscribed quantity of learning units--students--whose parents had, oh, let’s say for instance, excellent health, moderate intelligence and atrocious credit. We have twenty-seven different strata into which any given student could fall. I should say approximately the same number because the school did not wish to be bound and gagged, as it were, by the selection process. Occasionally, we would allow a slightly larger number of students from one stratum or another, if for no other reason than to make things work out mathematically.

Douglas Stewart, 18, McDowell-Eastman student, 9/12/01.

Believe me, that selection process they told you about is just a distraction. It’s not how you get in that’s important. I mean, there’s always rumors that it’s political. But I’ll tell you. The Admissions Panel is one of the cleaner aspects of the school. That is not the story. The story is not how you get in. The story is how you stay in.

Janet Resin, Public Relations Officer, 9/13/01.

I am painfully aware of these unsubstantiated rumors and let me say this. There is absolutely nothing sinister or conspiratorial about it, as ninety-eight percent of the students here can attest. To that end, I have been advised by our legal counsel to request that those people making cowardly veiled accusations state their claims just a bit more clearly so that the school can initiate legal recourse.

Donald Noth, Superintendent, 9/22/01.

To my knowledge, there are no plans whatsoever to bring lawsuits against anyone for expressing an opinion about the cause of this tragedy. There is always an impulse at times like these to find someone to blame. I understand that kind of emotional reaction. Yet I would ask those people who are intent on blaming the Academy to consider whether such unfounded claims bring any solace to the families of the twelve dead students.

Regina Lucas, “The Damned Truth,” 8/10/02.

Maintaining one’s position as a student at McDowell-Eastman from one year to the next is an issue that has come under more scrutiny as federal investigators feel the pressure of the fact of the approaching anniversary of the slaughter of one dozen students here in the prosaic farm community of Nostalgia, Ohio.

Over the past eleven months, the footage of what some have called the Ultimate Massacre has been aired literally hundreds of times to a world audience that nearly one year later still cannot quite comprehend what it is seeing. The media itself has taken its share of kicks and scratches for focusing so much attention on the murders and, as some of you may recall, one NBC News and Entertainment executive was fired when he responded to criticism for his decision to air a film of the killings by publicly stating that he would air a film of his own mother “being tit-fucked by Libyans if it brought higher advertising dollars.” You may also remember that a CNN official was summarily discharged for authorizing the telecast of the phrase “tit-fucked by Libyans” and then was immediately hired by the Fox Network once the phrase “tit-fucked by Libyans” began to be repeated by all the other major news organizations.

Wolfgang Pushkin, “Market Hegemony, CNN, 12/2/01.

Helen, I want it understo0od that these latest claims about the film that Nuare Rothberg is credited with making are ridiculous. This kid has gotten his quota of fame for being one of the people atop the tower across the plaza who filmed the Ultimate Massacre in process. Fine. I have seen that footage more than a few times. The idea that the two point eight seconds that the girl with the Rotarian flag is visibly in the frame presents some kind of revelation is patently idiot--

Helen: 5.2 seconds.

--idiotic, as is the suggestion that anyone outside of McDowell-Eastman shares in the responsibility for this disaster. I for one believe the American people are tired of hearing about it.

Christina Hellman, attorney for Nuare Rothberg, 12/2/01.

My client emphatically denies any admissions he may or may not have made to police officers about his tape of the so-called Ultimate Massacre being edited with subliminal recitations of the works of Emily Dickinson, or of any other poet.

Tanisha Rowan, “Star Crossed,” E!, 9/14/01.

Now this is the first of the three tapes we received. Let’s take a look. This one looks like it’s shot from a bridge or a tower. There! Look! You can see the entrance to the school across the campus, and there! That looks like one of the shooters! Wait. Wait. You know what? That’s very good camera work. We need to give this guy a job in the studio here. Okay. Now that’s some type of automatic rifle. Wow. He’s really being knocked back with the recoil, huh? Good thing he’s got a wall behind him or he’d be grilled cheese. Oh! See that? Okay, now the camera guy is following the trail out to one of the victims. Wow. Nice shot of that head wound. Was that the freshman? Oops, looks like we’re panning up and over to look at the other two camera operators. I think this may be the first time three people came together to film mass murderers in the act. This is very wild.

Detective Deeann Bonnell, 9/14/01.

If you want to know the truth, I hate this case. It’s one of the strangest cases I have ever investigated. So far I hate everyone we talked to who is involved in this thing. Anyway, to answer your question, our information is that three individuals who are not presently suspects apparently filmed the systematic execution of their own classmates. These films have been circulated among the media. Despite pleas from our office that airing these movies would impede our investigation, every recipient of the movies has seen fit to televise these murders with some regularity. This kind of response is exactly the attention these suspects are seeking, and so I would urge…

Interview with Angus Payne in Eighteen, 11/1/01.

I’, not saying anything about the other two you people all think are in on this. Not because I’m a nice guy, either. I’m nice. I am the flesh of Satan and the spirit of Jesus Christ dying from temptation. I got the idea for what I did from competing with all those frog eyes for a spot in the senior class.

Q. Competing?

A. You know what it means. I’m the Devil, not a dictionary. It isn’t just the academic side of things you have to worry about. My grades are spawn good. Top three percent. Worship trees. But the school assesses how you’re doing in establishing contacts with influential karma karma sponsors. What kind of trophies you win. How many girls you nail.

Q. Really?

A. No. Not really.

Q. What?

A. Cream me. The reason I did what I did was that I am a motive in search of a crime. Short cut the politics. Remove the stripes. If there were less kids in the competition, my chances go up. It’s exactly slackly what happens in business everyday, except they destroy minds instead of bodies. So what? You got any gum?

Q. Since you brought up the subject of your accomplices--

A. Bazooka Joe and Machine Gun Wally.

Q. You’re joking again.

A. I never said anyone was with me, Catfish.

Q. The video tapes clearly--

A. You can do anything you want with a camera.

Janet Resin, Public Relations Officer, 1/3/02.

McDowell-Eastman Preparatory Academy is encouraged by the capture of the other two guilty suspects in the senseless deaths of twelve of our students last September. Whether these two students share Mr. Payne’s confusing candor regarding the motive for this horrendous crime is yet to be seen. In the meantime, we would like to stress that the standards for advancement at our Academy are not only consistent with those of our Sister Academies in Europe and Asia, they were also made abundantly clear to the parents and legal guardians of the guilty suspects in this case. We feel, therefore, that any and all responsibility for the actions of a very small minority of our students belongs with those students and not with the McDowell-Eastman Preparatory Academy.

Marsh Lane, father of slain student, 1/3/02.

What do I think they should do with them? I was thinking somebody could chum the waters and jam a five-prong fish hook down their throats and pull ‘em through a school of bull sharks. You TV people would get a kick out of that.

Douglas Stewart, 1/3/02.

Most people at the school know one another, at least well enough to speak. So, yeah, I know the three suspects. Angus, he was very funny most of the time. He was always slapping the wheels of his skateboard against something, but that’s about the worst thing you could say about him. He had a very fast sense of humor. Hilarious. But once in a while he’d go nuts on somebody, just totally furious, screaming right in your face. But he was definitely a bright guy. Jenny was like this stabilizing force in his life. If they were at a party, she was always right there with him, almost as if she knew he’d fall apart if she went to take a whiz. We all used to kind of laugh about that.

Daphne Carter, 1/3/02.

I never actually dated Allen Wright. We were friends, though, absolutely. My father hated him. I just cannot believe he might be involved in this. He was very sweet and a little shy. I think that’s why my father hated him. When Allen would call me up, he’d always spend five minutes apologizing for bothering me, even if he wasn’t. And when I called him, he was never doing anything. I’d say, so what are you doing? And he would always say, nothing. I mean, how can you always be doing nothing?

Al Washington, father of slain student, 1/3/02.

The Bible says lo and woe. I say kill anybody who kills one of yours. They killed my daughter. Legally, I should have a say in it. I say take their lives away.

Donald Noth, former Superintendent of Schools, 1/3/02.

The tragic suicide of my wife, Naomi, has prompted me to resign my post with McDowell-Eastman Preparatory Academy effective immediately. I have no further comment.

Wolfgang Pushkin, 1/3/02.

Anyone, Helen, and I do mean anyone, who ignores the coincidence between the suspicious death of Naomi Noth and the murders a few months ago at Donald Noth’s school is either an intellectual coward or a bandage boy for your type of card-carrying liberals. Your entire political platform has collapsed, Helen, and it’s a shame it took so many deaths for all your supporters to finally wake up.

Christina Hellman, 1/7/02.

My client, Nuare Rothberg, has entered into a plea agreement with the U.S. Attorney’s Office. In accordance with the terms of this agreement, Mr. Rothberg pleads guilty to one count of accessory before the fact in the death of Colin Whitney. No other charges are or will be forthcoming. In exchange for a sentencing recommendation of two years, Mr. Rothberg has agreed to testify in Federal Court regarding whatever knowledge he may have as to the actions of Allen Wright, Angus Payne, and Jennifer Cloud on September 11, 2001.

Q. What about the other two students who filmed the massacre?

Q. Are they also pleading guilty?

Q. What kind of arrangements have they made?

A. You will have to speak with their attorneys for any specifics.

Q. We’re asking you.

A. It is my understanding that they will also be called to testify and that their testimony with support that of Mr. Rothberg.

Todd Martin, “Night Hook,” 3/28/02.

As the trial of three Ohio students is set to begin tomorrow morning, we have assembled a distinguished panel of journalists to provide a definitive answer to one simple question: As the trial of the century takes shape, has the media gone too far in its coverage of the events in Nostalgia?

Yuma Creek, 23, actor, 3/28/02.

People will forget the positive things about the school. I went there for four years. I feel I learned things. I had experiences that students who didn’t have those advantages might have missed out on. How many schools do you know that teach advanced calculus at nine o’clock and barrel racing at ten? How many schools have had so many well-known graduates? Not that that’s the important thing, but I guess it means something. I didn’t come from a wealthy family. We didn’t have much. I turned out okay.

Q. Some of the recent notoriety is not the kind I would want.

A. What did you say?

Patrick Hahn, founder, Heaven House, 12/24/02.

Our position is this. The three defendants have been found guilty and sentenced to death. One of those defendants, Allen Wright, has repented of his sins and allowed the joy of Jesus to enter into his heart. We do not oppose the execution of Jennifer Cloud and Angus Payne. We do question the benefit of exterminating the sole perpetrator in this affair who has accepted Christ as his Lord and Personal Savior.

Rudolph Myotravski, psychotherapist, 12/24/02.

The playwright George Bernard Shaw said that capital punishment would only be effective if it were performed publicly, so people could see it and be deterred. I’m not sure what benefit people will gain from the televised executions of these three people. A sense of closure, I suppose, whatever that means.

Marsh Lane, 12/24/02.

If it was up to me, they’d all be injected with Liquid Drano. Merry Christmas, assholes.

Interview with Jenny Cloud, “Night Hook,” 12/24/02.

I don’t have any particular plans for the holidays. Someone said they’d be bringing in brownies. I might answer my emails. They’ve been piling up.

Q. What would you like to say to the families of the students you killed?

A. Sorry about that. (Chuckles) Nothing I could say would make any difference. It would only provoke more agony. We accomplished what we set out to do. I don’t want to hurt anybody else. I could be turned loose right now and I would never take another life. The pressure had built up and I needed a release.

Q. Can you explain that pressure?

A. Do you know what it’s like to want people to stare at you because you’re beautiful instead of because you’re a freak? Don’t you prefer to eat because the food is delicious instead of because you’re hungry? I gave a ton of love to this society and they spit in my face. I was bleeding and they thought it was funny. They’re going to kill a butterfly with napalm. I don’t care what they do. I’m beyond feeling. Those kids we killed during recess--well, recess is over.

Regina Lucas, “The Damned Truth,” 1/1/03.

The long national nightmare is over. Shortly after midnight this morning Jennifer Cloud, Angus Payne and Allen Wright died by lethal injection. The execution was televised by every network in the United States, Canada, Europe and Japan. The sponsor of the world-cast, Langston Pharmaceuticals, the manufacturer of the ethyl-cyanide used in the injections, reports the telecast received the largest market share in the history of television, with a record 2.8 billion homes tuned to the grisly affair.

Yet the sensational story may not be quite over, as reports of a possible spiritual resurrection of Allen Wright sent men and women with cameras to the Nostalgia Cemetery where the deceased murderer and born again Christian is expected to be interred.